Lessons, Learned

 Life has many lessons to teach us, some more painful than others — and some we’d just as soon be spared. Regardless, if you have a graduate — or if you ARE a graduate, here are some insights I’ve picked up along the way…  

When it seems too good to be true, it’s generally neither good, nor true.

Because you’re young(er), people are going to assume you know things you don’t — and assume you don’t know things you do.

Everything you’ve heard about your elders isn’t true. But some of it is.

Everything your elders think about you/your generation isn’t true. But some of it is.

Never say you’ll never… (at least not out loud).

If the only time your boss hears from you is when there’s trouble, don’t be surprised if they don’t look forward to your visits.

The people who say “it’s not about the money” generally already have some.

If you’re always the smartest person in the room, you’re probably in the wrong room.

Before hitting “Reply All,” take a walk.

A good reputation takes years to build and about five minutes to lose.

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Nobody really knows what they’re doing at first. Some are just more confident about it.

Read the room before trying to lead the room.

If you find yourself saying “no offense,” reconsider the next sentence.

ASAP rarely means the same thing to the person requesting it as it does to you.

Emails (generally) don’t have to be answered right this minute. Particularly those that arrive on the weekend (p.s. don’t get mad at your elders who send those — it’s probably habit, not an intentional intrusion into your personal space).

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. Just remember: your employer may not fall neatly into either category.

There actually ARE stupid questions. Usually the ones you ask after ignoring the instructions.

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but it pays to read the fine print.

A meeting without an agenda is like a boat without a rudder. You may get somewhere, but it won’t be easy, it might not wind up where you need to be — and it will take longer to get there.

Comments that begin “with all due respect” generally aren’t.

When all else fails, don’t be afraid to pick up the phone.

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There is an inverse relationship between the number of people in a meeting and its productive output.  Ditto the number of individuals copied on an email.

Generalizations are (almost) never accurate.

Never let your schooling stand in the way of your education.

Sometimes the grass on the other side looks greener because of the amount of fertilizer applied.

Never miss an opportunity to say, “thank you.”

The longer you wait to start saving for retirement, the longer you’ll need to be saving for retirement.

That 401(k) match isn’t really “free” money — but it won’t cost you a thing.

Retirement may seem a long way off — but then, not so long ago, so did graduation.

Congratulations to all the graduates out there. We’re (all) proud of you!

- Nevin E. Adams, JD

p.s.: Got any advice to add to this list? Share it in the comment section below!

Commencement "Address"

This is the time of year when the nation’s graduates line up for accolades (and their diplomas). It is, for them, a beginning—a commencement of a new phase in their life. 

But ahead of that, most are given the “opportunity” to hear some words of wisdom and inspiration from an individual that they have likely never heard of (though their parents may have). In that spirit, I’d like to offer the graduates of 2023 some lessons I’ve picked up along the way:

Your first job can be like your first love—it will either bring a smile for years to come—or it can break your heart. And sometimes both. 

Just because you’re young(er), people are going to assume you know things you don’t—and assume you don’t know things you do.

Everything you’ve heard about your elders isn’t true. But some of it is.

There actually ARE stupid questions.

If your current boss doesn’t want to hear the truth, it may be time to look for a new one.

There can be a “bad” time even for good ideas.

Your work attitude often affects your career altitude.

When you don’t have an opinion, “what do you think?” is a good response. And sometimes even when you do.

People who ask for something ASAP probably want it sooner than you think is possible.

Emails (generally) don’t have to be answered right this minute.

Don’t be afraid to pick up the phone—BEFORE it rings.

If the only time your boss hears from you is when there’s trouble, don’t be surprised if they don’t look forward to your visits.

Book some quiet time in your day.

Most meetings really COULD be replaced with an email.

The world is made up of introverts and extroverts—learn and respect the difference(s).

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but it pays to read the fine print.

Never say you’ll never…

Always sleep on big decisions.

There is an inverse relationship between the number of people in a meeting and its productive output.

Never let your schooling get in the way of your education.

Sometimes the questions are complicated, but the answer isn’t.

And most of all, don’t forget that you’ll want to plan for your future now—because retirement, like graduation, seems a long way off—until it isn’t.

Congratulations to all the graduates out there. We’re proud of you!

- Nevin E. Adams, JD

Things You Don't Learn in School

Life has many lessons to teach us, some more painful than others—and some we’d just as soon be spared. But the graduates of 2021—well, they’ve been through a lot, arguably more than most—but with any luck at all, the days and years ahead will be brighter. 

Regardless, if you have a graduate—or if you are a graduate, here are some insights I’ve picked up along the way…   

ASAP is never as soon as people think.

Even those who work for themselves have bosses (they’re called “clients”).

Emails (generally) don’t have to be answered right this minute.

Bad news doesn’t improve with age.

Your first job can be like your first love—it will either bring a smile for years to come—or it can break your heart. And sometimes both.  

Don’t expect your job to respect personal boundaries without some “help.”

Don’t be afraid to pick up the phone.

If the only time your boss hears from you is when there’s trouble, don’t be surprised if they don’t look forward to your visits. 

Book some quiet time in your day.

Most meetings really could be replaced with an email.

You’re either early—or you’re late.

There is an inverse relationship between the number of people in a meeting and its productive output.

Everything you’ve heard about your elders isn’t true. But some of it is.

Generalizations are (almost) never accurate.

The world is made up of introverts and extroverts—learn and respect the difference(s).

Just because you’re young(er), people are going to assume you know things you don’t—and assume you don’t know things you do.

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but sometimes it pays to read the fine print.

Never say you’ll never…

Always sleep on big decisions.

Never let your schooling stand in the way of your education.

Sometimes the grass on the other side looks greener because of the amount of fertilizer applied.

Never miss an opportunity to say, “thank you.”

If you wouldn’t want your mother to learn about it, don’t…

Comments that begin “with all due respect” generally aren’t.

Sometimes the questions are complicated, but the answer isn’t.

That 401(k) match isn’t really “free” money—but it won’t cost you a thing.

And most of all, don’t forget that you’ll want to plan for your future now—because retirement, like graduation, seems a long way off—until it isn’t.

Congratulations to all the graduates out there. We’re proud of you!

- Nevin E. Adams, JD

p.s.: Got any advice to add to this list? Share it in the comment section below!

The Next Chapter

Life has many lessons to teach us, some more painful than others—and some we’d just as soon be spared. But for the graduates of 2020—well, theirs is surely a unique time. So, if you have a graduate—or if you ARE a graduate, here are some thoughts…   

My kids have passed those milestones—but I have two nieces that will graduate this year without an “official” ceremony to commemorate the occasion, no capstone to those years in pursuit of education, and preparation for the next of life’s stages, and—while social media, cell phones, TikTok and Zoom provide some solace—this is a class that will, for the moment anyway, be denied the hugs and warm embraces of classmates, friends and family alike.

That said, those next steps lie ahead—and if the when, where (and how) remains elusive—the if is surely only a matter of time. And as graduates everywhere look ahead to the next chapter in their lives, it seems a good time to reflect on some lessons learned along the way—most of which apply regardless of the times.

The world is made up of introverts and extroverts—learn and respect the difference(s).

You can “social distance” without being socially distant.

Because you’re young(er), people are going to assume you know things you don’t—and assume you don’t know things you do.

Nothing says a video conference has to include video.

There can be a “bad” time even for good ideas.

Emails can be a blunt instrument for (mis)communication.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. But not necessarily at work.

Paying the minimum due on your credit cards is dumb.

There actually are stupid questions.

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but sometimes it pays to read the fine print.

Never say you’ll never…

“Bad” people almost always get what’s coming to them. Eventually.

Always sleep on big decisions.

When it seems too good to be true, it’s generally neither good, nor true.

Never let your schooling stand in the way of your education.

Sometimes the grass on the other side looks greener because of the amount of fertilizer applied.

Never miss a chance to say, “thank you.”

Hug your parents—often.

If you wouldn’t want your mother to learn about it, don’t do it.

Bad news generally doesn’t age well.

Your work attitude often affects your career altitude.

Comments that begin “with all due respect” generally aren’t.

Sometimes the questions are complicated, but the answer isn’t.

That 401(k) match isn’t really “free” money—but it won’t cost you a thing.

And don’t forget that you’ll want to plan for your future now—because retirement, like graduation, seems a long way off—until it isn’t.

Congratulations to all the graduates out there. We’re proud of you!

- Nevin E. Adams, JD

Got some to add? Feel free to add in the comments.

'Lesson' Plans

Life has many lessons to teach us, some more painful than others – and some we’d just as soon be spared. But as graduates everywhere look ahead to the next chapter in their lives, it seems a good time to reflect on some lessons learned along the way.

It’s handy to know at least a little about sports and the weather.

Paying the minimum due on your credit cards is dumb.

Be willing to take all the blame – and to share the credit.

Know that there actually are stupid questions. Try not to be the one asking them.

Shun those who are cruel to others – and don’t laugh at their “jokes” – sooner or later, you’ll be a target.

Never say you’ll never.

“Bad” people eventually get what’s coming to them, though you may not be around to see it.

Always sleep on big decisions.

When it seems too good to be true, it’s generally not good nor true. 

Never let your schooling stand in the way of your education.

Sometimes the grass on the other side looks greener because of the amount of fertilizer applied.

Never email in anger – or frustration. And be extra careful when using the “Reply All” button.

If your current boss doesn’t want to hear the truth, it may be time to look for a new one.

Never miss a chance to say “thank you.”

Hug your parents – often.

If you wouldn’t want your mother to learn about it, don’t do it.

Bad news generally doesn’t age well.

There can be a “bad” time even for good ideas.

Your work attitude often affects your career altitude.

Comments that begin “with all due respect” generally aren’t.

Sometimes the questions are complicated, but the answer isn’t.

Remember as well that that 401(k) match isn’t really “free” money – but it won’t cost you a thing.

And don’t forget that you’ll want to plan for your future now – because retirement, like graduation, seems a long way off – until it isn’t.

Congratulations to all the graduates out there. We’re proud of you!

- Nevin E. Adams, JD
Got some to add? Feel free to comment below....

13 Things About Work You Probably Didn’t Learn in School

This weekend our youngest will graduate from college. It’s a big day for him, of course, and a big deal for us, having for some part of the past eight years had either one, two — and for one interesting year, all three — of our children in college at the same time.

Life has many lessons to teach us, some more painful than others. But as my son — and graduates everywhere — look ahead to the next chapter in their lives, it’s a natural time for the rest of us, particularly those of us who are parents, to reflect on the lessons we’ve learned along the way.

So, for my son — and all the other graduates out there — here are some things I wish I had known when I entered the workforce:

 

1. If you don’t speak up, people will assume you’re happy with the way things are.

 

2. If you wouldn’t want your mother to learn about it, don’t do it.

 

3. Never assume that your employer (or your boss) is looking out for your best interests.

 

4. You can be liked and respected.

 

5. Be very careful when using the “Reply All” button.

 

6. Never miss an opportunity to tell someone “thank you.”

 

7. Be willing to take all the blame — and to share the credit.

 

8. Know at least a little about sports and the weather.

 

9. Never assume that “senior management” knows what they’re doing.

 

10. Watch your language. People notice people who don’t curse.

 

11. Sometimes the questions are complicated, but the answers aren’t.

 

12. That 401(k) match isn’t really “free” money — but it won’t cost you a thing.

 

13. Plan for your future now because retirement, like graduation, seems a long way off — until it isn’t. 

Congratulations to my son — and all the graduates out there. We’re proud of you!

- Nevin E. Adams, JD

What’s Next?

In just a couple of weeks, tens of thousands of students (including a daughter of mine) will graduate from college. For most, it’s a journey of joys, trials and tribulations, an education, not just from a textbook or a professor’s wisdom, but the insights that one can only get from actually living through a different stage of life. Those students set out upon that journey years ago, and, doubtless following careful deliberation and the counsel of friends, families, and a few trusted advisors, a course was set. A course that many “adjusted” – by choice and sometimes of necessity – over the course of the last few years, but a course for their future, nonetheless.

Now the question is – what will they do next?

As parents, we spend a lot of time, energy, and money trying to help our children make good choices, but at a certain point, most of us step back, grit our teeth (and sometimes close our eyes), and hope that they do. Those decisions aren’t always the ones we would make – but, ready or not, they are made, sometimes for the better, sometimes not.

Similarly, this industry has expended a lot of time, energy, and money over the years to try and help individuals make good decisions about preparing for retirement. A growing number of individuals are now entering this new stage in their lives, and we ask ourselves, “Are they ready?”

In answer to that question, we can look at their individual situations and make certain projections about that readiness, based on their health, their gender, their income levels pre-retirement, and their likely levels of spending post-retirement, among other things[i]. But what will ultimately matter is what they do next – and that’s a factor not just of how much savings they have (or think they have) at the point of retirement, or the amount of other resources they may have available then (and thereafter), but how those resources are now invested, how they are invested over time, and how - and when – those resources are spent.

The factors that influence those decisions, as well as their results and potential consequences will, of course, continue to be a key focus for EBRI[ii]in the years to come – just as EBRI’s nonpartisan gathering, analyzing, and modeling the impact of behavioral, plan design, and regulatory influences has provided critical insights on those individual preparations for nearly thirty-five years now.

It matters because knowing what this generation does “next” is likely to be an important part of helping the next generation do better.

- Nevin E. Adams, JD

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[i]See EBRI Issue Brief July 2010 for more information on the EBRI Retirement Readiness Rating™ at http://www.ebri.org/publications/ib/index.cfm?fa=ibDisp&content_id=4593. The 2010 update uses the most recent data and considers retirement plan changes (e.g., automatic enrollment, auto escalation of contributions, and diversified default investments resulting from the Pension Protection Act of 2006) as well as updates for financial market performance and employee behavior (based on a database of 24 million 401(k) participants). Results will be updated next month, in our May Issue Brief.

[ii]More information on the EBRI Center for Research on Retirement Income is available at http://www.ebri.org/research/retirement-research-centers/retirement-savings-income/. For information about becoming a Research Partner, contact Nevin Adams, at nadams@ebri.org.

Graduation “Exhortations”

This past week, my son graduated from high school. It was a big deal for our family, as any graduation would be. However, this was in some ways a particularly special night, since my son is our youngest, and thus—well, it will be our last high school graduation (until grandchildren come along, anyway). The weather chased us inside for the ceremony, which also afforded us one more time to walk the halls that my kids had gotten so familiar with (and which still seem like a maze to me).

Mostly, it was an occasion to look back one more time before turning our attention to the future. For me, it was a chance to look back and try to bring to mind my own high school graduation—and all the things that have happened in my life since then.


So, for my son—and all the other graduates out there—here are some things I wish I had known when I was your age:


If you don’t speak up, people will assume you’re happy with the way things are.

If you don’t love yourself, nobody else will.

If you wouldn’t want your mother to learn about it, don’t do it.

Paying the minimum due on your credit cards is dumb.

High school ISN’T the best time in your life.

Never miss a chance to tell someone “thank you.”

You’ll fall in love more than once—or at least think you have.

Never assume that your employer (or your boss) is looking out for your best interests.

You can be liked AND respected.

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers—aren’t.

Hug your parents—often.

Know at least a little about sports and the weather.

“What do you think?” is a great response when you don’t know the answer.

The hardest thing to do is quit while you’re ahead.

The second hardest thing to do is to keep your mouth shut.

Never assume that “senior management” knows what they’re doing.

“Have you been working out?” is the best thing you can say to someone. The second best is, “Have you lost weight?”

People notice people who don’t swear.

Breaking up IS hard to do.

Listen.

Smile.

Read.

That 401(k) match is not “free” money—but it doesn’t cost you anything.

Start saving for retirement—now!

—Nevin E. Adams, JD